Disappoinment
DISAPPOINTMENT
It is one of the most unpleasant feelings on the human emotion spectrum. Although it is not as low-vibrational and vicious as feelings of guilt and shame, it’s still somewhere in the middle and can throw us off balance.
What makes disappointment different are these two things:
So, can we do anything to mitigate the risks of disappointment?
You’ve guessed it! We need to learn to let go and surrender – trust the Universe, stay open to any possible outcomes, not project our desires or scenarios onto others, and, as hard as it may be at times, especially in moments of distress, look for silver linings.
What does that entail in practice? We need to learn to be grounded—to be in the state of point 0. Believe it or not, positive emotions are great, but they are still manifestations of our ego like a little child getting overly excited and impatient about Christmas presents.
After all, it is our ego that wants to control and rule over other people, while the soul seeks to shine, inspire, and serve others, and that also means accepting people and circumstances with their flaws and mischiefs.
What was the first, worst, or maybe latest disappointment you endured?
As a bonus, here's the story of one of the first disappointments in my life. When I was 3-4 years old, I had a friend I used to play with in the beautiful resort of Dilijan, Armenia. One day, my friend got under the influence of another very mean boy and sided with him when he bullied me. And that was one of the first vivid episodes of disappointment I can recall. Around 25 years later, that “friend” of mine found me on Facebook (thank you, Zuck) and apologized for such "terrible behaviour that had been haunting him for years" - as it turned out, that childhood memory was consequential for both of us. And that was one of the most touching messages I’ve ever received.
It is one of the most unpleasant feelings on the human emotion spectrum. Although it is not as low-vibrational and vicious as feelings of guilt and shame, it’s still somewhere in the middle and can throw us off balance.
What makes disappointment different are these two things:
- You cannot be disappointed with yourself for, say, not making enough effort. So disappointment is the consequence of circumstances or other people’s behaviour that are beyond our control (e.g., “what a disappointing weather”, “this crème brûlée is not as good as I thought it would be”, “she’s turned out to be such a disappointment”, etc.)
- Disappointment is directly proportional to our expectations and excitement about people and events—the higher the expectations or qualities that we attribute to people who may not be as we expected them to be, the bigger the disappointment if these expectations are unmet. You can think about it using the following metaphors: the higher we climb, the more dangerous the fall will be; the bigger the gap between debit and credit, the more financial debt we are in, etc.
So, can we do anything to mitigate the risks of disappointment?
You’ve guessed it! We need to learn to let go and surrender – trust the Universe, stay open to any possible outcomes, not project our desires or scenarios onto others, and, as hard as it may be at times, especially in moments of distress, look for silver linings.
What does that entail in practice? We need to learn to be grounded—to be in the state of point 0. Believe it or not, positive emotions are great, but they are still manifestations of our ego like a little child getting overly excited and impatient about Christmas presents.
After all, it is our ego that wants to control and rule over other people, while the soul seeks to shine, inspire, and serve others, and that also means accepting people and circumstances with their flaws and mischiefs.
What was the first, worst, or maybe latest disappointment you endured?
As a bonus, here's the story of one of the first disappointments in my life. When I was 3-4 years old, I had a friend I used to play with in the beautiful resort of Dilijan, Armenia. One day, my friend got under the influence of another very mean boy and sided with him when he bullied me. And that was one of the first vivid episodes of disappointment I can recall. Around 25 years later, that “friend” of mine found me on Facebook (thank you, Zuck) and apologized for such "terrible behaviour that had been haunting him for years" - as it turned out, that childhood memory was consequential for both of us. And that was one of the most touching messages I’ve ever received.
OCTOBER 2024