Heartbreak
HEARTBREAK
I had been in my safe and peaceful bubble for so long that I had started to forget how incredibly painful it was.
Even though I kept witnessing friends and clients of both genders breaking into pieces and literally crying out of misery, disappointment, and despair, I caught myself feeling empathetic but desensitized to their pain.
After all, “I have nothing to be afraid of anymore. I am armed to the teeth with all my tools and surrounded by therapists of all sorts. I have worked on myself, grown, and will be fine!”
But here’s the thing—it’s your heart that’s broken, not your mind. And it’s often illogical and, hence, uncontrollable (two of my pet peeves).
So, how do we deal with heartbreak?
Step 1
ACKNOWLEDGE AND ACCEPT IT
Don’t dismiss or devalue it, and don’t compare your pain to others’ pain. There is no such thing as “silly or unrighteous” heartbreak—whether you have just gotten out of a 20-year marriage, a business partnership, lost a friend, or are mourning a few-month fling, you have a right to your experience. Because “we can’t heal what we don’t feel.”
Step 2
ALLOCATE TIME FOR PROPERLY GRIEVING YOUR LOSS
For some of us, it may take a week or two of being at emotional rock bottom (e.g., when we lie in bed, “eat ice cream” and feel low and negative, ruminate and talk about it with our friends or a therapist, etc.), for others - it’s a matter of a couple of days. Whatever your process is, make sure you take your time and do not sweep your pain under the rug as if nothing happened, and you are doing fine. But remember to set a deadline, after which you pull yourself together and get to the next stage.
Step 3
HEAL AND GROW
This is the stage where you need to turn misery, pain, and anger into constructive gain! It may take months, if not years, but it is worth it because that’s where growth is.
There are simple actions you can take to kick off this step and take care of your physical and mental health:
AND REMEMBER!
Do you have any go-to strategy for surviving heartbreak?
If you need any help navigating your journey, please do not hesitate to reach out.
Stay hopeful,
Z
I had been in my safe and peaceful bubble for so long that I had started to forget how incredibly painful it was.
Even though I kept witnessing friends and clients of both genders breaking into pieces and literally crying out of misery, disappointment, and despair, I caught myself feeling empathetic but desensitized to their pain.
After all, “I have nothing to be afraid of anymore. I am armed to the teeth with all my tools and surrounded by therapists of all sorts. I have worked on myself, grown, and will be fine!”
But here’s the thing—it’s your heart that’s broken, not your mind. And it’s often illogical and, hence, uncontrollable (two of my pet peeves).
So, how do we deal with heartbreak?
Step 1
ACKNOWLEDGE AND ACCEPT IT
Don’t dismiss or devalue it, and don’t compare your pain to others’ pain. There is no such thing as “silly or unrighteous” heartbreak—whether you have just gotten out of a 20-year marriage, a business partnership, lost a friend, or are mourning a few-month fling, you have a right to your experience. Because “we can’t heal what we don’t feel.”
Step 2
ALLOCATE TIME FOR PROPERLY GRIEVING YOUR LOSS
For some of us, it may take a week or two of being at emotional rock bottom (e.g., when we lie in bed, “eat ice cream” and feel low and negative, ruminate and talk about it with our friends or a therapist, etc.), for others - it’s a matter of a couple of days. Whatever your process is, make sure you take your time and do not sweep your pain under the rug as if nothing happened, and you are doing fine. But remember to set a deadline, after which you pull yourself together and get to the next stage.
Step 3
HEAL AND GROW
This is the stage where you need to turn misery, pain, and anger into constructive gain! It may take months, if not years, but it is worth it because that’s where growth is.
There are simple actions you can take to kick off this step and take care of your physical and mental health:
- get quality sleep
- exercise (you can start with a 30-min morning walk)
- eat clean
- listen to music
- attend interesting events and book beautiful trips
- spend quality and fun time with people who love and support you
- start or resume a passion or a hobby
- regularly do something that brings you joy (upgrading your wardrobe or home may be a good idea)
- find the right therapists or therapeutic modalities
- invest into bettering yourself in all areas of life
AND REMEMBER!
- A true “soulmate” will never leave or betray you. So, if they did, they would be a karmic obsessor at best (more on this soon), and in this case, good riddance!
- The Universe always has your back! And as painful as it is right now, in hindsight, you will appreciate that everything has worked out for the best.
Do you have any go-to strategy for surviving heartbreak?
If you need any help navigating your journey, please do not hesitate to reach out.
Stay hopeful,
Z
APRIL 2024