One of the reasons I’m so ridiculously slow at creating video content and posting it on my
YouTube or
Instagram is because, more often than not, there is no filter in the entire universe of filters that can make me like what I see in the video — and, therefore, give me the guts to let others see it too (needless to say, I hate filters and feel like a total hypocrite when I use them).
So, I procrastinate — waiting for whatever condition I “suffer” from at the moment (allergies, acne, not tanned enough, too sunburnt, yet another cosmetic treatment side effect, a couple of extra kilos, hair too long or too short, bruises and veins on my legs, and other excuses I come up with) to pass, so I can "un-pause" my work and personal life (for instance, it took me a whole YEAR to record
a simple set of exercises for raising your Kundalini).
And yet somehow, when my iPhone randomly shows me an old photo — one I absolutely hated at the time it was taken (like the ones I’m posting here from 2023) — I catch myself thinking: what exactly was wrong with that photo? Only to know I’d probably hate the one taken five minutes later even more. My friend
Matt calls this body dysmorphia.