A couple of weeks ago, I did something I rarely do — I left a comment under an Instagram post I found silly. There was nothing outrageous in the opinion I shared — just some simple facts, spiced up with a little sarcasm (because that’s who I am). And yet, a couple of users, after checking my profile and seeing what I do for a living, decided to attack me personally, mocking my “bad vibes that don’t align with my line of work.” Apparently, seeing “your opinionated holistic therapist” in my bio didn’t lead them to the logical conclusion that I’m not exactly shy when it comes to having and expressing opinions 😉

And that’s when I realized: people often have a distorted understanding of what it actually means to be a holistic therapist. So, here’s my attempt to reflect on it.

DISCLAIMER: If your therapist acts like a saint, guru, or know-it-all — someone who claims to have transcended the human ego and reached enlightenment — RUN!

Being a therapist doesn’t mean we’re not allowed to have human emotions, flaws, or opinions. In fact, just like traditional therapists need a therapist of their own, we — holistic therapists and energy coaches — also do our inner work. We use the tools we have, or we work with trusted colleagues and mentors. During my 1.5-year TASSO training, one of the essential parts of becoming a transpersonal regression therapist was exactly that — working on ourselves, both in group practice sessions and under mentorship. Because guess what? We have our own stuff, too.

Being a holistic therapist also doesn’t mean working with just anyone and everyone. Quite the opposite — if a client triggers me or I don’t resonate with them for whatever reason, I’ll politely fire them (or won't hire them in the first place). That’s exactly why I offer a 30-minute free intro call — for both of us to see if there’s rapport and what one of my teachers, Hans TenDam, calls the Square of Trust:

• The client’s trust in themselves — to show up, explore, and do the work
• The therapist’s trust in their own abilities and professional competence
• The client’s trust in the therapist — feeling safe, understood, and supported
• The therapist’s trust in the client — believing they have the capacity to heal

If you ask ChatGPT what holistic therapy is, it’ll probably say something like:

“Holistic therapy is an approach to healing that considers the whole person — mind, body, emotions, and spirit — rather than just treating specific symptoms or illnesses. It integrates traditional psychological methods with alternative and complementary practices to support overall well-being.”

Nowhere in that definition does it say we must sing Kumbaya and live by “good vibes only.” We, humans, are messy. Complex. Emotional. Full of patterns and triggers. And that includes your therapist.

Sure, we all have a job to do — to grow out of our ego (which is a lifelong process, just like staying healthy), to become more accepting of ourselves and others, and to learn to see life from a higher perspective. Therapists are expected to be a step ahead of their clients in that department — and rightly so. But let’s not forget that as long as we’re still here, in a body, on this planet — energy workers or not — we’re meant to have our feet in both the spiritual and also the material world.

When I’m the client, here’s what I look for in a therapist:
Yes, of course — skills, experience, integrity, and common sense.
But also — are they grounded? Can they relate to real life? Do they have a healthy level of pragmatism? Can they navigate everyday ups and downs without floating away into spiritual bypassing?

What about you — do you agree with my assessment?